The Further Father

I am now the parent of a 14 year old daughter. While I am competent enough at work and in the wide wild world, when it comes to my daughter, I feel that I have very few skills to bring for being her father. Buddhism may have a lot to say about the nature of reality as it is... I wish it had more to say about fathering.

No, Ironman was not a father. But sometimes this is how I feel in my current role. Covered with a hard imposing shell that I can't reach out from and my daughter can't see a real, relevant human being behind.

Where are the practical lessons on being gentle, kind and loving in the Buddhist tradition, but with a daughter? All those isolationists seem like cowards from my point of view today. Most people have to interact with other people to get their daily grind done. Why isn't there more advice on how to do this well as a Buddhist?

Issa Nice Thing

For some reason I really enjoy old haiku's. Particularly with the kana, romanji and English translation all together. Throw in a little cultural insight from time to time and I'm in heaven.

What fun to have stumbled across "The Daily Issa."

Paraphrasing Wikipedia, Issa Kobayashi lived from 1723 to 1828 and in that time wrote 20K haiku.

Here's a sample of what The Daily Issa provides...

New Year's gate greetings--
on each side of the road
tracks of sandals

kado rei ya kata kawa-zutsu wa zo^ri michi

.門礼や片側づつは草履道

by Issa, 1821

Shinji Ogawa notes that zo^ri are expensive sandals--appropriate footwear for this auspicious day. Though Issa doesn't literally mention "snow," Shinji pictures sandal-shaped footprints in the snow on each side of the road. Though at first I imagined the phrase "sandal road" (zo^ri michi) refers to the clomping sound of sandals, Shinji points out that zo^ri, made of soft materials, don't clomp. Since this is a New Year's haiku situated in the mountains of Issa's home province of Shinano (today's Nagano Prefecture), it is more likely that "sandal road" refers to footprints in snow.

To subscribe, see http://cat.xula.edu/issa/

A very simple daily treat.

If You Met Buddha on the Road - Would He Have Coffee With You?

In most societies there seems to be a "proper" arch to life. We go through childhood and become young adults. It is then that some adventure is undertaken which sets the tones of later life. I think many people live this way. In this model, Buddhist seclusion makes some sense. It is like a stint in the security forces of the region where you live. Isolate with like-minded people and do something extraordinary. Then come back "into" society.

For people that have discovered Buddhism later in life this is no longer feasible. Or it is feasible but with harsh consequences that do more harm, I would think, than good. A father or mother should not 'abandon' their family to isolate in a monastery to delve into non-thinking. A tree is in its forest, an ox is in its herd. It is un-natural to remove either to some new place. What fills the gap left behind?

I have often attended an Unitarian Universalist church, but I have not been in a long time... since before I started 'learning' Zen. Our family went last Sunday and it was a wonderful experience. Being among others with a common purpose of contemplating the benefits of simple kindness and peace had me in tears several times. UU's love live music. There were musicians playing violins and drums and other wonderfully 'woody', 'earthy' instruments. What joy. Joy that seems to be absent from the Buddhism I have seen so far.

I find this so hard to reconcile. At this moment, Bodhidarma seems like a fool more than a hero. These stories of historic/legendary Buddhists never seem to express the anguish of the isoloation they chose...of missing their families, and villages and friends....of missing the ebb and flow of society. As with the Bible we have today, the history of the thoughts of early Buddhist must be highly revisionist. The transmitters have decided what the message must be and passed it on with edits that send that message. Like tugs that nudge the direction of a supertanker. It may be only a little bit here and there, but eventually the course can be drastically altered.

Western culture perhaps is more accepting of private anguish and doubt. Some Christians embrace the idea of Christ having fear and doubt and pressing on anyway. The doubtful hero is as strong in Western writing as the resolute, unshaken hero.

Doubt seems to be scrubbed from the history of Buddhism. As the West has started writing about Buddhism we see some of the doubt appearing, but it seems to be absent from the East. We've got a much polished picture of Buddha after it all got good good for him. Buddha post-enlightenment. Buddha after its all clicked into place. I would like to know more about Buddha while he was working on it. Where is the Sutra of Black Doubt? The Song of Loneliness? The Chant of "What the F*** am I Trying to Accomplish?"

Maybe I have to hunt more?

-L

Idealism Rises From Itself

Any discussion of idealism is, by its very nature, an idealist endeavor. The human ability to form and discuss concepts has provided us with great opportunity for survival. There is no object or structure that is human made that is not the product of and idea made real, the blend of idealism and materialism.

It seems that animals are not idealistic. Their brain processes that result in their behaviors probably could be described in idealistic terms, but if they have any idealistic talents, it is probably extremely limited, else driven by survival forces, they would probably be doing more materialistic things. Manipulating their environment with the same expressive and planning fingerprints we humans put all over everything.

Language is entirely idealistic except for the very base sounds and tones, I think. Words are certainly idealistic. These squiggles of black patterns only have meaning because of the ideas we share in common. There is nothing in the intrinsic material that conveys meaning.

Koko was (is?) a gorilla that learned some language. In this was Koko transformed from a non-idealistic creature to an idealistic one?

Prajna

Originally posted on Peter's blog, The Stupid Way.

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Prajna and precepts seem to be two different types of tools. Prajna only has relevance in an immediate, real, situation. Put simplistically, should I do A or B or something else *now*, given this real thing currently in front of my nose? And even that fails to describe it, I think. There is no choosing. Prajna presents the answer immediately, without question, when the "problem" arises.

The precepts play a different role. The precepts are generalisms. With out consideration to an specific real issue in front of you, they guide how you should head. They are (sorry, gotta try being absolute here just to see if it feels right) never ever appropriate for figuring out your path through an immediate real thing in front of your nose. In that case stop, meditate (even for a second), and see what the real right answer is that maybe prajna will reveal. (well, maybe that is too absolute, but still has the right flavor, I think).
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I don't think I could trust a teacher who never got angry, who did not curse, or was never petty, or sad, or such at some point, in some way....or even if they really 'had it together', if they say people that exhibit such 'real' behavior, are not on the right path or such, I could not trust them.

Buddhism has no rank. These titles of Master, roshi, whatever, are social terms, not real terms. That is to say, a cat is a cat, a dog is a dog, and a person is a person. That's it. To say, "he should not be listened to because of x,y,z" .....

Damn, that ain't quite it...

There is no final. right stage in buddhism, I believe as far as relativistic, observed behavior goes. I'm guessing the final stage of buddhism is to act always out of prajna rather than checking a list of rules before each action you take. A person acting out of prajna, or striving to, may seem, at times, angry, or cussing, or rude, or extremely nice. One could say "what is he, he is angry, anger is bad, he is bad" or one could strive to see if the anger, or cussing or rudeness, bore (to borrow a Christian metaphor) good fruit.

As a new father I find that a "rule" I give my daughter one day for one situation may be entirely appropriate, but she can turn it into a justification for something really inappropriate the next day. Though this does mean I need better skills at rule making, it also has taught me that I must teach my daughter to make relative (prajna-esque) type decisions, not to operate from absolute rules.

Dogs howl to warn of danger. That is buddha-nature. If people 'howl' to warn of danger, that could be buddha-nature, or it could be rudeness and anger. Only our own prajna can guide us.

If I personally judge based only on precepts I believe I am headed down the wrong path.

-Lauren

Short Course in Buddhism

We must all, ultimately, teach ourselves. I believe even Buddha is reported to have said (roughly summarized) - "don't blindly trust me, prove it for yourself whether my teachings are useful or not." 

No description of 'reality' will ever completely match 'reality' as it is. Reality can only be experienced fully when it is experienced directly. 

I suppose the/a gateway to experiencing reality directly is zazen. Even when we are living in reality, our experience gets clouded by thoughts, distractions, fears, assumptions, disruptions, etc... Various teachers/masters may have ways of describing 'it' -  the direct experience of reality - that are more successful for a particular student/seeker than another.

A teacher that says 'yes, I can definitely get you there' however, is contrary to the thesis that 'there' can't be completely described. Best to approach such a teacher with caution. A teacher that says 'this is what it looks like to me, but for you it may be different' seems to be advertising more truthfully.

We all who are curious about these matters have the tools to get there - experience reality directly - on our own, but we might not yet have the ability/skill to do so. Someone who has been 'traveling' to that state prior to our journey, or who abides in that state, and who can speak to us in a way that we each, individually, can hear, is a tremendous time saver. If we get nothing but confusion from a teacher, drop them like a hot rock.

If a teacher appears to be antithetical to where you posit you should be headed, drop them - maybe. Check carefully whether your own sh&t might be clouding your judgement. 

'There', in fact, is nowhere. We are all sitting in reality as it is. The 'trick' is to drop various forms of mental noise to see it. 

Another key thesis is we have the very aspect (nature) already available (within us) to see reality directly (the 'buddhadharma') without the relativism of right-wrong, strong-weak, rich-poor, smart-stupid, evil-kind, etc... coloring what is in front of us.

Arguments over precepts, particularly the Buddhist Precepts cannot be helpful because arguments are a focus on right-wrong relativism.

It simply cannot matter what someone else says. Words do not change 'it' (reality as it is).

There seems to be a very few key points of theory about this game of Zen Buddhism, and those few key points have had thousands and thousands of pages written about them.

The points as I see them today:

• There is a reality here and now that we don't typically experience directly.
• It is neither good nor bad, it just is...now.
• It is clouded by a habit most people have of relativism/idealism.
• Description can not capture it, only direct experience.
• Sitting zazen is a practice which facilitates experiencing 'it' directly.
• With sitting (zazen) we can see how busy our intellect is categorizing and dreaming of the past and future.
• [the map is now more murky]
• With practice, somehow, with time or quite suddenly, this veil through which we normally filter 'it' drops away, and we can be in reality as it is.
• Then we must fart, or burp, or do other mundane daily tasks... take a piss....'it' ain't a fairy tale, it's just reality.

Quoting Frost (probably with error)
"We dance around in a ring and suppose, but the secret sits in the middle and knows."

... and good lasagna is a wonderful thing.

-L

Discourse on the Four Noble Truths

The 2 Extremes to avoid
1.
devotion to indulgence of pleasure in the objects of sensual desire
pursuit of sensual happiness in sense pleasures
addiction to indulgence of sense-pleasures
That which is devoted to sensual pleasure with reference to sensual objects
2.
devotion to self-torment
pursuit of self-mortification
addiction to self-mortification
that which is devoted to self-affliction

Vibhava-tanha (craving for non-becoming) is wishing & e.g.
Wanting not to become sick, old, ugly, foolish etc;
Hoping not to become dead, poor, despised etc;
Desiring not to become bored, unsatisfed, confused etc.
In general: Craving for future not-(be)coming of all unliked states!
It is commonly present & dominant in mental states such as:
Fear, anxiety, worry, feelings of insecurity & various concerns!
It is basicly the mirrored opposite of craving for becoming of all
liked states such as craving for becoming rich, young, beautiful etc.
They are thus equally effective as the primary Cause of Suffering!
See also:
http://What-Buddha-Said.net/drops/II/The_3_kinds_of_Craving.htm