Saturday, November 29, 2008

The Further Father

I am now the parent of a 14 year old daughter. While I am competent enough at work and in the wide wild world, when it comes to my daughter, I feel that I have very few skills to bring for being her father. Buddhism may have a lot to say about the nature of reality as it is... I wish it had more to say about fathering.

No, Ironman was not a father. But sometimes this is how I feel in my current role. Covered with a hard imposing shell that I can't reach out from and my daughter can't see a real, relevant human being behind.

Where are the practical lessons on being gentle, kind and loving in the Buddhist tradition, but with a daughter? All those isolationists seem like cowards from my point of view today. Most people have to interact with other people to get their daily grind done. Why isn't there more advice on how to do this well as a Buddhist?

2 comments:

Jordan said...

Yeah, my girls are young, I am dreading their teenage years. But even now it is tough (not possible) to be present enough to be wise all the time. I don't see advice to parents at all in texts or scriptures, but the Rahula Sutra is pretty good advise for children.

Good luck!
Jordan

carrie said...

i recently read somewhere that adolescence is a fairly new creation. for most of human history, kids were out of the house by 12-13. so it is no surprise the prolonged childhood creates some strain on the parent/child relationship.