Sunday, May 31, 2009

Thanks

Finally back at the computer after days of running back and forth across Texas.

Peter, Tallis, Uku, Harry, Jordan, Barry, Jeremy, and "Just Zazen", thanks all for the well wishes.

There appears to be no "getting back to normal" after this event, just getting on.

I find in this odd aftermath of settling estates and planning funerals that I am wondering if I was kind enough to the guy while he lived, and seeing that the bell tolls for me too, I don't have a lot to say right now.

It seems so clear that when it's over, it's over, as simple as turning off a light when you leave the room.

Our existence props up so much; property ownership, pensions, credit cards, keys, bank accounts, tools, trailers, trash, friends, family, clothes, shoes, books, frying pans... and when we die, it's like the key post in a house being pulled out. The house heaves, sighs and collapses. The people left behind dig through the rubble, organize the remains, construct a final story, and move on.

Lasting influence? Maybe. But not "directed" influence, of course. We go. How other people remember us, interpret us does remain... but it is not 'us.' It is not the unique consciousness you sense about yourself.

There is no greatness or smallness.

Drops fall from the sky and land in the ocean.

It is all rain.

5 comments:

Barry said...

It is all rain. And it tastes so sweet!

NellaLou said...

Very insightful post. It has a very clear poetry. Like a moment's sigh.

Lauren said...

Barry,

Thanks for the reminder. I am struggling with it only being rain right now, and not palaces of whatever I had thought it was. I would like to taste the sweetness of the rain. This sounds much like the koan about the root, the man, the tigers, the mice and the berry... and maybe even Jackie Gleason... "how sweet it is!"

NellaLou, thanks.

Jordan said...

Texas is way too big to go running across all day.

Uku said...

Hi Lauren,

just wanted to say take care, Dharmabro.

Sometimes it's good not to sing in the rain.

Yours,
U